Fair

What a word! Fair. I had one of my girls say to me that "its not fair." Now keep in mind she has been told time and time again that fair is a four letter dirty word. Is life fair? Now that's a question that we could talk about for years and still have plenty unsaid. Why can you do this without first talking to me? Why can't we think of another solution? Why don't other parents do this to their children? Why????
Simple answer. I'm the parent and you are the child. I know stuff that you don't (even though you think you know everything.) I'm going to do what is best for you even if you don't like it or understand it. Now let's talk about what is fair and what is not. Is it fair for me as a parent to have to constantly clean up every financial mess you make? Is it fair for me as a parent to have to clean up behind you? Is it fair that I put pretty much all of my life on hold to make sure you were taken care of? Fair? Probably not but that is the choice I made and somewhere along the line I started to care about you and want to protect you. So where does this leave you...in my care and under my direction. How fair is that?

One of them there days

Why did I even get up this morning. I could tell from the way I felt it was gonna be one of those days. People just have a way of making a bad day even worse. You would think that if someone saw you having a bad day that they would choose to be a humanitarian and make it better for you or just leave you the hell alone. BUT NOOOOO!!! They just gotta find every little way to piss you off even more and then have the nerves to ask what's wrong.
Thank God for the bright spots. The few smiles that other people create just when you are about to give up on mankind. Like that special someone who looks into your eyes and says "baby I understand and you know what, it'll be OK." Like that other special person that knows you collect shot glasses and gives you a whole box full. And really that loving special person that says all of your unique features are what I love most about you. I LOVE YOU TOO!!

Unique

Everybody knows that they are unique right? Then why the hell do we change ourselves to be like everybody else? Why can't we accept ourselves for who we are. Including that extra 10, 20, 30 or even 100 extra pounds we might be lugging around. Fact is that bag of potato chips you ate 5 minutes ago are now apart of you. LOVE IT!! The shit was good going down.
Seriously though, think about it. What traits do you have that you are not happy with. Is it that you have big eyes? Is it the tone of your skin? Is it that you don't look like a model? Those are just a few of the things I don't like about myself. Why? Couldn't tell you. What I do know is that my level of self acceptance has gotten much better. Still got a long way to go but better. I've started to understand that I am the way I am for a reason. I am the person I am for a reason. So why not love it? How can I say I love someone else if I don't love me? Stupid question huh? Think about it!!!

It is not all about me

You know, I just decided that I have got a lot to say so bear with me. In my quest for my purpose, my reason for being here, a few questions have come up. Before I go any further, let me give credit where credit is due. I have embarked on a 40 day journey inspired by Rick Warren's book "The Purpose Driven Life". The first question is how can remind myself that life is not all about me.
Well I guess if everything I say and do impacts the lives of other people, it is not all about me. I guess if worrying only about me has got me to this empty place then it's not all about me. I guess if I live every single day just to get by and with no other purpose then it's not just about me. I guess I want something to define me and make me feel good about getting up every morning. What makes me feel that way? Helping other people. Doing something just anything for someone other than myself usually makes me feel pretty damn good. What are my obstacles to this?(That's another entry) Nothing but that big ass space between my ears and my fear of not being accepted or seeming phony. Bullshit answers. So what is the answer?
I recently ran across an ad in a very local newspaper for a legal representative for neglected and abused children. No pay involved. This position interested me enough to send in an application. However I've not done a damn thing since then. I guess now is a good time.

How we are born

Isn't it funny that we have no choice in how we are born? Most of us don't have a problem with it but what about those of us who do? You're born poor but you want to be rich. You're born a boy and at least sometimes you want to be a girl or fuck that... A LADY!!
So you decide to lead what people consider a "normal" life. For the most part you are happy and content but every once in a while that little voice inside says "girl let's go play". What do you do and how do you do it.