When did it happen?

I've asked myself a million times, when did it happen? At what point did I realize I was capable of loving a man. I have not been able to answer that question for myself probably because I was in denial or just chose not to remember. It came to me in my sleep last night. Wanna hear?

I was 22 years old and working at the number 1 pizza chain in the US at that time. I was a General Manager. Quite young for that position but I was a responsible kinda guy back then. One of my assistants was an ex-football player who owned a boat. His name was Pete. Pete invited me and another of my managers to go out on the boat and much to my surprise I accepted. The reason this is such a shock is because Lady is afraid of any water deeper than the bathtub. Well we got out on Ford Lake and were just cruising around. He even let me drive the boat. I had a lot of fun. All the other guys thought it was a good idea to go water skiing. Not Lady. Don't play that shit. I only felt safe in the boat because I had a life jacket on and Pete was a big burly motherfucker that would not let anything happen to me. Cute as hell but not the one I was capable of loving. It was my other manager who I'll call Zander.

Now Zander was a good looking guy; not as hot as Pete but cute just the same. Sandy brown hair about 6'2" 180lb solid guy. It was fairly obvious to me that he liked me a lot. I always questioned his sexuality but never mine. Once he pulled his dick out and tried to get me to suck it and I didn't even look at it. Oh to have that day back again. Anyway, Zander was second to hit the water to go skiing. He was a natural at it. Didn't fall one time. When he got back in the boat, he was freezing. I handed him a jacket and he was shivering. He asked me in front of all the other guys to hold him so he could warm up. I just looked at him and then I did it. It did not feel real to me at first. One of the guys on the boat just glared at us but the strange thing is I didn't care. At that moment him in my arms felt better than anything I could remember.

That moment haunted me for a while and eventually I got back to my normal life but it was that moment that I fell in love with my first guy.