Listen

It's really funny how when you listen to people you hear the answer to the questions that boogle your mind. Not always what you want to hear but you hear it just the same. Sometimes life can be a real pain in the ass. You think you are doing what is right but it turns out that you are one selfish SOB! Not that caring about yourself is all bad but what really defines a person (especially one like me) is how much you care about other people.
I recently had a conversation with a good friend of mine (girl you know who you are) and I told him that I won't venture into a relationship with a man unless it means something to the person I'm with. Now to complicate this situation is the fact that I have a wife at home. So the question is how can I expect it to mean something to my guy if I really don't have anything to offer except an occasional roll in the hay? I mean I really have no intention of making changes in my life so how can I expect someone to accomodate me without any real commitment from me? Hmmm! Casual fucks are not what I am about. Never been that way. So what do I do?
I guess in the big scheme of things it would seem that since casual sex is not what I'm about and I can't or won't commit to anything, I should just ignore this attraction I have to men and go on with my life. That would be the selfless thing to do. Talk about defining moments!